Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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