Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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