is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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