Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
