Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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