is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
