brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
