Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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