I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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