I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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