I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
