So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
