I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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