I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The adults are the big ones right?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
