Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
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