Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
