O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
