Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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