Porn is love you can see.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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