tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize