I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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