see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
