She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
