I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
