she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Hippo gnu deer
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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