Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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