so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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