i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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