Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
