he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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