saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
