She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I got inside last night via doggy door
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
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