Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
