Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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