Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
