I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
