Cold hands, warm shart.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
