he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
