you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
