My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
