O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
