**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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