I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize