Acid is not a monday night drug
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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