at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
