yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
