everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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