Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
