Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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