STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
