Do you still have your period?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
