Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Holy sore nipples Batman
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
