It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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