We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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