i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
