Don't you send me to vm
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
