So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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