OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
