I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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