allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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