Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
