I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
