You're so nebulous sometimes
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
