Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
